Book of Days
by sf
Summary: Go on, laugh. It's not easy being a Sanzo, you know. [Oneshot; complete]


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Book of Days  
Begun : January 29th, 2003  
Ideas by Alexandra Lucas and sf  
Written by sf

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One step, one fall, one falter,   
East or West,  
Over earth or by ocean  
One way to be my journey  
This way could be my  
Book of Days  
- Book of Days, Enya

Rating : PG

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Book of Days  
Proudly presented by the Sanzo-abuse Fanclub

It was a normal day, saving the appearance of a slightly atypical cave. Yet the cave was typical in that it represented their Daily Obstruction -- or a Possible Obstruction -- and in Sanzo-speak, an Obstruction was something that had to be conquered, or removed. Besides, this being Saiyuki-land, the cave was the only way out of the ravine that they were inexplicably trapped in, and thus, at the whim of some sadistic fanfic author [1], the only way West.

So with the typical doctrine of the Sanzo-ikkou -- to rush headlong into places where _kami_s fear to tread -- they slammed on Jiipu's accelerator and sped into the darkness. (One might add that they were gifted with the assurance of the Power that Is [1] that the cave was really a tunnel, and would lead them out of the ravine to the other side. They took the less assure assurance that it was '_Perfectly Safe'_, with a pile of salt and fed it to Goku.)

[1] - To whit, sf-sama, President of the Sanzo-abuse Fanclub.

Several million youkai later (the lower grade ones that come free with any package tour involving Genjo Sanzo-sama), they found themselves in a large, underground cavern. It was cheerfully lit by oil lanterns to allow the audience to observe the proceedings. Naturally, this was a typical stage for the encounter with the Level Boss, and the Sanzo-ikkou, well familiar with the rules of RPS (Role playing / Simulation) games, waited around instead of doing the intelligent thing [2]. 

[2] - ie : Run away. Quickly.

Several seconds and a rather cheesy fanfare later, the Boss appeared with a thunderous roar and a suitable amount of ground shaking. It _should_ have brought ceiling down, but this being a world governed by anime physics, it simply caused a few pebbles to go clatering into the darkness.

After the usual introductions, threats, and demands were exchanged --

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"Genjo Sanzo! I am [insert name here], stupid minion number 41036 of 1198512 of Kougaiji-sama / Gyokumen-sama / free-lance agent, and I am here to claim your life. Hand over your sutra immediately!"

"[Insert suitable number of insults here]; I refuse."

-- they commenced hostilities, which did not cease until Sanzo was mortally injured, the others had artistically arranged smudges of blood and grime on their faces, and the Level Boss was defeated (with the use of the Secret/Super/Special weapon : the Maten Kyomen).

The three conscious members of the Sanzo-ikkou loaded their comatose leader into the jeep, and sped merrily off towards the Level Exit, which was just a few seconds' drive away. 

*

Several hours after emerging from the cave (passing a curious sign that read : _'Welcome to sf-land. Please surrender all Sanzos at the door."_), they realized that the day was far from over, and that the Power That Is had thrown yet another obstacle in their path : The infamous Plot Twist. 

They had, in their hurry to leave, left their Super-Secret-Special weapon, the Maten sutra, in the cave.

The level - their mission, rather - being incompletable without the sutra, they were forced to turn around and head back to the cave. (To the cries of : "_Whaddya mean we have to go _all the way_ back?"_) At the entrance, Hakkai shook Sanzo awake, briefed him hurriedly on the situation, and gently but irresistibly propelled him towards the cave with a cheery, "It won't take a minute. We'll just wait out here for you."

Hours passed. The others pitched a tent and got a fire going. As Hakkai prepared dinner, laying out _3_ bowls, Goku felt the slightest twinge of worry. "He's been gone an awfully long time. Do you think we should go and look for him?"

"I'm sure he's fine," Hakkai replied cheerfully, as Gojyo added, "He's a big boy, our Sanzo-sama. He can look after himself. Besides, we'd only be in his way."

Sanzo had not returned by the time dinner was over. Goku eyed the leftovers and asked, "Do you think we should save some for Sanzo?"

Hakkai looked thoughtful. "Actually, I don't think that Sanzo will be back for a bit. Besides, he hardly eats, anyway." And he spooned the rest into Goku's bowl.

*

The night passed without incident. Close to dawn, they heard a series of gunshots, a long and drawn out scream, more gunshots, then silence. Goku sat bolt upright. "That sounded a lot like Sanzo!"

"Couldn't be," Gojyo mumbled, rolling over and shutting his eyes.

"The echoes do strange things to a sound," Hakkai said. "Possibly a bird. Or a youkai. Go back to sleep."

"Alright," Goku replied.

*

The next morning, they departed for the nearest town, and returned in the evening with fresh supplies. There was a trail of blood on the ground that suggested that something had staggered out of the cave, turned around, and staggered back in. [4] Hakkai sagely informed Goku of the strange habits of injured wild boar, and set to work preparing dinner.

There were a few more screams and gunshots in the night, but even Goku had learnt to ignore the strange sounds of the forest by now. 

[4] - Records indicate that one High Priest exitted the cave near noon. He was heard to comment : "Finally found my way out of that damn maze." After a moment's pause, our hidden microphones were abruptly bombarded with a plethora of swear words, followed by : "Damnit! I forgot the damn sutras _again!_", and the sound of something dragging itself back into the cave. 

*

On the third day, Hakkai was laying down the seeds for his herb garden, Gojyo was drawing up plans for their new apartment, Jiipu had made friends with the local birds, and Goku was signing a long term contract with the local meatbun seller for delivery of goods directly to their doorstep. The strange birds had stopped calling at night.

*

On the fourth day, a stray thought occured to Goku over lunch. "We haven't seen Sanzo in a long time, have we?" he asked.

"Oh, he's probably busy," Hakkai said.

"Having the time of his life, most likely," Gojyo snorted. "With none of us to get underfoot."

"Have another meatbun," Hakkai offered, and the issue was dropped.

*

On the fifth day, they thought they heard cursing from deep within the cave, and all of them developed terrible sneezing fits. Hakkai put it down to the chilly weather, and bundled all of them into the rudimentary shelter that Gojyo had erected. Outside, the sun blazed down. 

The sneezing fit stopped abruptly sometime in the afternoon, after what might have bene a scream. But now it started to rain, so no one thought twice about the events of the morning.

*

On the sixth night, Goku had nightmares about some strange person with golden hair cursing him all night and hitting him with a fan, but he forgot it by morning.

*

On the seventh day, Hakkai came to them with bad news. "It seems that we've run out of money. We need to go after Sanzo."

"Sanzo? Who's that?" Goku and Gojyo asked.

"You know... blond guy, carries a gun and a fan, smokes... high priest... sutras..."

"Oh, him," Gojyo said. "What does he have to do with us?"

"He has the credit card. He foots the bills."

"But Hakkai, the cave is big and dark and looks like the Mountain... I don't want to go in there," Goku protested, eyeing it nervously.

"If you don't, I'm afraid that we can't afford any more meatbuns," Hakkai told him.

"Uh... alright! Then... charge!" he summoned Nyoibou, they all leapt into Jiipu, and shot off in search of their companion.

Several hours of searching later (aided by the generous trails of blood), they found Sanzo plastered across the floor, his right hand locked around the Maten sutra in a death grip, and the Level Boss dead at his feet.

"Oh dear, oh dear," Hakkai nudged him with his foot, and more blood sploshed out of various gaping wounds.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Gojyo asked Goku. "Start looking for the card!"

The search proved futile. Finally, Goku decided to try the special sleeve pocket that Sanzo was rumored to keep all his belongings in. As he hunted in Sanzo's sleeve for it, the priest abruptly slapped him away.

"Wha--?" Goku squawked. 

"Think he's awake?" Gojyo asked Hakkai.

"No.. that was probably a reflex action."

"Whatever, man! I'm not looking for that card any longer!" Goku said.  
"Yeah, then no more meat buns for you!" Gojyo told him.  
"Why don't you go hunt for it instead, lazy kappa?!"  
"Because this is an ape's job, get it?"  
"Because a kappa's too stupid to handle it!"  
"You're too much of a chicken to!"  
"You're the chicken!"

A white paper fan made an appearance long enough to whack both of them over the head. Sanzo tucked it back into his sleeve, then his arm fell limply back to his side. The others stared.

"Think he's alive?" Gojyo asked Hakkai.

"No.. that was probably a reflex action."

"But I think I saw where he put that fan..." Goku said.

Cautious inspection of the sleeve produced one diadem, five pockets of cigarettes, two lighters, one pair of spectacles, and two slaps. There was no sign of the gun, the fan, or the card. 

"Maa... what a mess," Hakkai said, looking confused. "It seems that we'll have to bring him back to town."

It was easier said than done. Several hours of work were necessary to carefully peel the priest off the ground, simultaneously making sure that no bits were left behind. ("Hey, his foot dropped off again! Be careful, will you?!") Finally, after generous applications of Surgeon General Cho Hakkai's Ki-Surgical-Glue, they managed to shift all the pieces, relatively intact, into the Jeep. And promptly set off for the nearest hospital.

However, this being an ancient time before the advent of modern niceties such as hospitals, jeeps, guns, and spectacles, they were eventually forced to settle for an inn. Hakkai carefully wrung Sanzo out before laying him on the bed.

Slowly, the priest's eyes fluttered opened. "Hak--"

"Hush, don't speak," Hakkai told him. "Take your medicine." And he popped half a gazillion sleeping pills down his throat. As Sanzo passed out again, Hakkai went in search of the others.

"How is he?" Goku asked.

"Have you found the card?" Gojyo demanded.

"He's in a coma. He'll be out for..." _Let's see, that was half a bottle of sleeping pills, which means about seventy hours... _"About three days."

"And what about the card?"

"I can't find it," Hakkai said helplessly.

"What do you mean you can't find it?"

"Come and take a look."

It turned out that Hakkai had, in the course of attending to Sanzo's wounds, stripped him down to his jeans. His robes, now so blood stained that they were red, were laid across the table, alongside black top and black gloves (which couldn't have turned red, no matter how blood stained they were.) 

"I've been through every inch of his clothing and I still can't find his credit card," Hakkai said. "Why don't you try?"

When a prolonged search yielded nothing, all three were forced to concede defeat.

"I really wonder where he kept it," Goku said. "I've never been able to figure that out."

"Do you think it's in his jeans?" Gojyo asked.

"We've been through his pockets," Hakkai reminded him, absently rubbing at a bruise where Sanzo had unconsciously decked him the last time he had checked said pockets. 

"I mean _in_ his jeans," Gojyo clarified.

They looked at the figure on the bed.

"Nawww...." Goku said.

"I don't think he could actually fit anything in those jeans... too tight," Hakkai said, voicing their common thought.

Somewhere, deep in his coma, Sanzo smiled.

"So there's nothing for it," Hakkai declared. "We'll have to keep him alive."

*

It must be noted that Sanzo eventually recovered [5], and after refusing to talk to the rest for a few days, was finally persuaded to put the past behind him and embark once more on their Journey West.

[5] - When Goku queried Hakkai on Sanzo's incredible recovery rate, Hakkai showed him the little pink fairies that came in the middle of the night, sprinkling their fairy dust on the unconscious priest, and healing him with a wave of their sparkly, star-topped wands. 

Nothing more untoward occured until the next fanfic, saving one small incident.

It had been a long, hard day, and now it was raining. Hakkai, after a long soak in the bath, returned to the room he shared with Sanzo, to find the priest hugging a king-sized bottle of prozac and muttering : "My friend. My only friend."

As with everything else out of the ordinary, Hakkai closed his one good eye, and dismissed the matter. The next time Sanzo was injured, he was not surprised to find the priest unconscious for _five_ days, and the bottle of prozac not-quite-hidden under the bed.

And life went on, one day at a time.

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The End

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Afterword

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BOOK OF DAYS

  
_One day, one night, one moment  
My dreams could be tomorrow  
One step, one fall, one falter  
East or West,  
Over earth or by ocean  
One way to be my journey  
This way could be my  
Book of Days  
  
No day, no night, no moment  
Can hold me back from trying  
One flag, one fall, one falter  
I'll find my day maybe  
Far and Away  
Far and Away  
  
One day, one night, one moment  
With a dream to be leaving  
One step, one fall, one falter  
Find a new world across a wide ocean  
This way became my journey  
This day brings together  
Far and Away  
  
This day brings together  
Far and Away  
Far and Away._

Book of Days is a lovely song, and I am sorry for having used it so irreverently. Nevertheless, taken in seriousness, it is a song for Sanzo-ikkou. 

A large part of the ideas for this fic came from Alex, influenced by a long day at work and a copy of Zero Sum's _exceptional_ edition of Saiyuki (March). Another friend, who shall remain anonymous, suggested the fairies.

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sf -- January 29 2003 ; 10:30pm


End file.
